MTV Reality TV Show Review

Thanks to my family's Digital Video Recorder and HBO on Demand, I always have hours of cable television to catch up with whenever I visit home. Marie, Pujeeta and I are stuck with one measly network channel, Fox, and what's worse is apparently every program on Fox features characters who only interact outside on snowy days. Or maybe there's something wrong with the reception.

Anyhow, there are so few genuinely good shows on television these days, that I choose to embrace the intentionally awful ones with loads of enthusiasm. Now, there are the standard shows I'll always be loyal to -- like "The Office" and the deceased "Sex and the City" (I never saw the first few seasons). However, while when it comes to movies, I can sometimes be a snob -- though not on purpose, mind you -- I'm not like that with television. It's like people are granted "good taste" amnesty when it comes to television, reality television in particular.

But here's the thing -- I only enjoy the stuff that's overtly tacky and vapid. The stuff that pretends to boast substance is annoying.

So, as you might have guessed, I happen to really enjoy MTV reality shows. Seeing as how I'm fairly familiar with MTV's reality TV show lineup, I thought I'd do a wrap-up of what this season has to offer.

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Oldies, but goodies:

"The Hills"

The follow-up to the hit show "Laguna Beach" features its alumna, Lauren (or LC), as she tries to make it big in the Los Angeles fashion industry, alongside her best gal pal and roomie Heidi. In the second season of "The Hills," we see a new and improved LC, one that actually talks! The LC of "Laguna Beach" was just a pretty face, but this time around, she almost seems interesting. Currently, however, the plot has revolved around spunky, annoyingly obvious Heidi, black-haired beauty Adrina, and smooth-talking Spencer. Basically, Spencer has desperately been trying to get into Adrina's pants, while assuring Heidi he "more than likes" her, not Adrina. Aw, how romantic. Anyways, however staged it is, it makes for good TV. It's fun to watch rich, beautiful, shallow people try to find love in all the wrong places (i.e. from other rich, beautiful, shallow people).

"Real World"

Now, "Real World" used to have a little street credit. Back in the day, MTV cast everyday young adults on the show. Folks you could relate to!

These young adults always came from wildly different backgrounds and would only ever be friends if they were fictional characters on a sitcom (as fictional characters on sitcoms rarely ever would like each other in real life -- think "Friends"), or, of course if they were... "picked to live in a house, work together and have their lives taped, to find out what happens when..." blah blah blah.

But anyways, the past few seasons of "Real World" have relied on a more basic, ratings-driven formula: just put really hot, party girls in the house. Fortunately, the three hot, party girls on "Real World: Denver" this year are mostly nut cases. Well, Colie (despite her strange, melodramatic behavior at the hospital when she got mono) seems pretty normal. But Brooke and Jenn each have their share of mental problems and the four guys in the house are always caught in the crossfire.

My favorite of the lot is frat boy Alex, who sort of reminds me of B.J. Novak's character in "The Office" -- he casually plays along, knowing full well the house is full of crazies. He might crack pretty soon though...

"Next"

What I like about "Next," which is still in full swing, is it perfectly illustrates what the downtown hook-up scene is all about -- simply placing your bets, buying girls drinks (or being bought drinks by guys), all in an effort to find the hottest ass out there. "Next" is simply a formalized, gimmicky version of that.

In "Next," you have your main girl or guy (usually good-looking, usually hollow) who in a sense, is given the opportunity to do some serious, hands-on speed dating.

The "Next" bus is packed full of the eager daters; most are physically attractive, but there are typically a few ugly and/or plain weird ones thrown into the mix too. So anyways, the daters each get to go on a date with the main "Next" star, in an order pre-determined by MTV. The main girl/guy can "next" the dater at any point (it's always funny when a dater is nexted -- new verb! -- before ever opening his or her mouth). If the main girl/guy decides he or she likes a dater enough to go on a second date with (or have sex with) them, that dater gets the choice to go on a second date with (or have sex with) the main girl/guy or get a dollar for every minute spent on the date. Spent an hour on the date? Well, you can either go home with your dating partner or take home 60 dollars. I'd go with the 60 bucks -- probably won't give you an STD.

"Next" slyly mocks the superficial, boring, stupid people who go on it and that's why I like it. MTV gives the stilted dating contestants the BEST lines to say as they introduce themselves to viewers.

"My Super Sweet 16"

"My Super Sweet 16" is just what it sounds like; every episode revolves around one or two soon-to-be-16-yr-olds planning the sweetest party EVER. They all have a few things in common: they're obnoxious and spoiled and they want to throw a sweet 16 party fit for, well, a BRAT. "My Super Sweet 16" is a shocking look into parenting gone very, very wrong and is also really hard to flip the channel away from.

New guilty pleasures:

"Maui Fever"

If you thought "Laguna Beach" felt surreal and staged, well, "Maui Fever" takes the cake. The cast mainly consists of bleached surfer dudes who openly pursue unemotional one night stands every single night of the week, it seems. But only after their long, hard days of teaching surf lessons... to their potential one night stands (tourists make great one night stands!) who they then recruit for the parties they hold every single night. There are two equally promiscuous, but slightly more intriguing, girls on the show; girl # 1, Chaunte, toys around with the only guy who has any heart on the show, Anthony. How thoughtful of her.

"Maui Fever" is the more mature, sorry did I say mature?, I meant slutty, version of "Laguna Beach." It's oddly fascinating because I had no idea people could lead such empty, sex-obsessed lives. But can you really blame them? There is a lot of sun in Hawaii and the sun is really hot and after a while, doesn't it start to kill brain cells?

"Exposed"

This is the latest dating show on MTV and essentially, two daters vie for the approval and acceptance of the main girl/guy. Except, as the main girl/guy interviews the two contestants, their best friend is feeding them questions to ask (through a secret ear piece) and alerting them to which answers are honest and which answers are complete bull shit. (Thanks to a 'lie detector,' or voice stress analyzer that MTV makes sure to inform is only used for entertainment purposes at the end of the show.)

So that's a fun twist. Except the questions are usually incredibly lame. "Have you ever picked your nose while driving in the car?" "Do you pee in the shower?" That's like truth or dare fodder -- come on, you have a real chance at putting these potential boyfriends/girlfriends on the spot and seeing them for who they really are! Ask them if they're homophobic or racist! Oh, wait... why is there even a need for a voice stress analyzer here? Do you really care if you hook up with a liar and a cheater if you're never going to call them again?

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Shows like "Date My Mom," which I liked a lot, haven't been around much these days -- I guess MTV wants to give "Exposed" and "Maui Fever" a turn.

(On a side note, how scandalous would it be if they did a "Date My Dad?" So wouldn't work!)

Other shows, like "The Duel," I never really quite got, but people seem to like it because it's on ALL THE TIME. It has a little more brains than its peers, though. As does "Dancelife," which I want to give a few viewings before I comment about it.

In my next entry, I'll be reviewing TV dinners, the Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen video series, and porn.