You stupid girl

So, I am anything but a closeted MTV reality television fan. I can't help but gawk at the weekly train wrecks. And those train wrecks primarily consist of beautiful girls throwing themselves at the most unattractive, unlikable guys on the planet. (They are all in L.A.)



Pictured here is Lauren Conrad, from "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills," and her ex-beau Jason Wahler. Thank GOD she broke up with him. Not only is Jason rumored to have released a supposed sex tape the couple made (according to Perez Hilton), but he is jail-bound -- the 20-year-old and his model girlfriend Kristen Deluca were both arrested for physically and verbally assaulting a black tow truck driver who was blocking the road, removing an illegally-parked vehicle. At the time, Jason sported racial epithets and a blood-alcohol level of .22. Someone's trying to pull a Mel Gibson! (Jason was already arrested in an underage-drinking raid.)

Lauren could have any guy she wanted -- she's rich, famous, gorgeous! And yet, she chose Jason? She gave up a trip to Paris to do a fashion internship for him. What did she see in him? Sure, objectively, he's a good-looking guy. But shouldn't the jerk factor outweigh the hot factor?




Fool Lauren once? Shame on Jason. Fool Lauren twice? Well, it makes good TV. Off of the heals of Lauren's serious relationship with bad boy Jason, she then dated Brody, who's reputation as a lady's man preceded him. Why would you move on from a drunken racist to a man whore, Lauren? Why? Brody's also best pals with Spencer... who we'll talk about later.

After their brief little fling, Brody then hooked up with Lauren's long-time friend Jen Bunny. The only reason Brody would ever pursue Jen is because it would piss Lauren off (and it did; her and Jen are no longer buddies). Because Jen is NOT PRETTY. She looks like a man. So while Lauren hates Jen, she still hangs out with Brody. Why?!? The guy is obviously a prick. I mean, LOOK AT HIM!



I saved the worst for last. This is Hedi. I can't find a picture of her slimy boyfriend Spencer, so here's sort of what he looks like. Spencer is your quintessential asshole. As he courted Heidi, he also tried to woo over her friend Adriana, assuring Heidi that Adriana was actually after HIM and assuring Adriana that Heidi was nothing short of a stalker-freak.

Adriana was no idiot -- she could smell a creep from a mile away (and being in L.A., I'm sure she's had more than a few sensory overloads). Anyways, she didn't buy it. But what did Heidi do -- even after Spencer paraded around Playboy bunnies in front of her at a nightclub -- well, she fell in love with him of course! Heidi is Lauren's former best friend and roommate (Spencer pressured Heidi to move in with him only after a couple of months of dating, likely so he could control her mind)... Spencer and Heidi don't really jive well with the rest of the world and Heidi... not even Lauren approves of Spencer! The horny manipulator really epitomizes all the guys who star in "The Hills" -- and resembles some of the guys in "Maui Fever" too.

Even lovable fictional character Pam on "The Office" is stupid about guys. Roy? Over Jim? Really?!?!? (Last night's episode really bummed me out.) Have hot sex with Jim already! And then release your sex tape on the Internet!

The reason all this trash TV struck me, though, is because it really is reality TV, isn't it? I know girls who continue to settle for less, for no reason I can really figure out. It's aggravating! I've never once dated a guy of this breed, and why the fuck would I?

C'mon, you bad-boy-loving ladies. You're making the rest of us look retarded!!!